Weddings are notorious for the stress they place on brides and grooms. The fact that you're considering a proxy marriage doesn't change most of these concerns. In fact, it may make some even worse. Everything in life is a balancing game, and a proxy marriage vs a physical marriage is no different. Learning to deal with stress is vital for the success of your wedding and your marriage. Because make no mistake, the stress you feel now is just the start.
In order to begin managing your stress, you need to get a handle on four tasks: 1. Recognize and understand the signs of stress; 2. Identify and understand the source of stress; 3. Learn to manage sources of stress you can control; and 4. Learn to support yourself and cope with your reactions to stressors beyond your control.
Know the Signs of Stress
Reactions to stress vary from person to person and may produce a variety of symptoms. These include stomach aches, headaches, trouble sleeping, impaired concentration, moodiness, irritability, and racing thoughts. Knowing when these are a result of stress is vital to the start of proper management.
Sources of Stress
While you're considering a proxy marriage, you are facing a huge number of imposing decisions, expenses, expectations, and new roles. You may feel that your wedding should be the happiest time of your life, and feel that any feelings of discomfort diminish that. But the truth is that stress comes in good times and bad. But if you don't learn to take control, stress will turn more and more of your good times into bad.
Some sources of stress are unavoidable. Marriage usually means change, and change is often stressful. You have family members, friends, and (now) in-laws to consider. While your wedding is for you, don't fool yourself into thinking that others won't feel vested.
Other sources of stress can be controlled. Remember, you don't have to accept every invitation you receive. People may want to see you and be a part of your event, but if you don't take care of yourself no one wins.
Taking Control of Stress
The internet is full of ideas on how to control stress. A quick Google search will turn up more suggestions that this article could ever cover. But here are a few that seem to work well in marriage situations:
Talk to your partner: make sure that your wedding is shaping up to be the event you both imagine. A grand wedding may be great in the movies, but reality is a whole different ball game. Don't be afraid to be honest, it's vital to the long-term success of your life together.
Delegate: even in a proxy marriage, there's often a lot to do. Don't be afraid to ask for help. In fact, don't be afraid to order people around. You're getting married after all. If you can't be the boss then, when can you? Be cautious about going too far in this direction, stories of bride-zillas are wide spread.
Accept your limits. Even the best control freaks have to accept that they have limits. At some point, it is important to know where those are, and maybe even move the yard stick back a bit. If you try to do too much, you run the risk of making things worse instead of better.
Time management tricks and strategies are always a useful tool to battle stress, whether arising from a wedding or life.
Taking Care of Yourself
One of the most important things you can do before your proxy marriage is to take care of yourself. This will help with stress, but it will also help with life. Remember to get enough sleep, exercise regularly, eat normally, avoid excess sugar, caffeine, nicotine alcohol, or drugs. You may want to consider meditation. While many of us imagine an overly flexible man sitting on the ground chanting, there are variations of meditation, such as mindfulness-meditation that are more practical and very effective.
One more thing, find time for fun. Whether you are headed toward a physical marriage ceremony or a proxy marriage, this is supposed to make you happy. Take the time to remember that and do the things that make all the stress worthwhile. It will help keep things in perspective, and help keep you sane.
Finally, if you are interested in learning more about proxy marriages, please check out the Proxy Marriage Headquarters at http://www.proxymarriagehq.com/.
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